Oscars 2013: The show goes on ... and on

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Given the feeling of dread coming into this year's telecast, I have to say the show went way better than I expected (yay for low expectations?) Here are the good, the bad, and the mediocre:

THE GOOD
Best bit from opening monologue: Sock puppet!


Second best bit from the opening monologue: Sally Field taking off with Seth.
Best joke on winners who talk too much: Play 'em off with Jaws!
Best speech: Daniel Day-Lewis
Best upset: Ang Lee!
Best musical number: Shirley Bassey upstaged everyone (J. Hudson went full glass-shattering impact - not pleasant)
Best J. Law moment:

Second best J. Law moment:


THE BAD
Worst McFarlane offence: lazy, sexist jokes (jab at women via Zero Dark Thirty? cringe-worthy)
Worst showcase for a movie: Les Miserables cast singing in their fabulous get-up. Somebody give these poor folks more diamonds for their fur!
Worst Catherine Zeta-Jones impersonation: did she lip sync or what?
Worst upset: Lincoln won for Best Production / Art Direction. You supposed they reinvented the wheel for this film?
Worst Oscar math: Lincoln led all nominations, lost to a movie that won only 3 categories total and without a Best Director nom, and then went home with only two statuettes - a production win, and Daniel Day-Lewis.
Second worst Oscar math: TIE? Zero Dark Thirty couldn't even win one full category (Sound editing).

THE MEDIOCRE
Most non-event performance: Adele
Most obvious sign of Globes envy: Michelle Obama handed out the last award, via a screen. How was that better than Clinton showing up in person at the Globes?
Presenting snoozefest: they should fire the writer for the presenters. And clone Will Ferrell & Kristen Wiig to present all the awards.


Griz:

THE GOOD:
• Quvenzhané Wallis showing her guns during the Best Actress presentation was adorable.
• Daniel Day-Lewis coming in at the last moment to give us one good and funny speech.
• Barbara Streisand singing at the tail-end of the In Memoriam section.
• Shirley Bassey belting out the greatest Bond song of them all.
• Michael Haneke’s complete inability to pronounce “thank you” and still saying it over and over again.
• A tie for Best Sound Editing! First time since 1994!
• The winners, on the whole, were deserving. It also feels appropriate that they spread the wealth since no one film really deserved to sweep.

THE BAD:
• Seth MacFarlane. But maybe not so much him as the writing/humour-level being set at 14-year-old boys. I expected it, but I was still disappointed that he and the writers couldn’t rise to the occasion to come up with something better than boob jokes. Lazy.
• The show was overlong, sluggish and sloppy. The song and dance performances felt like they were a few weeks of practice away from showtime, and the whole theme of music got old real fast.
• The speeches managed to be even worse and more mechanical than usual.
• Brave winning Animated Feature over Wreck-It Ralph. Just no.
• Ang Lee getting a freebie Best Director Oscar after the one who would’ve been the slam-dunk winner failed to get nominated. You could feel the energy in the room being all wrong when it was being presented.
• Just getting nominated was Beasts of the Southern Wild’s reward, but it’s too damn bad it didn’t win something.
• The Best Picture presentation via satellite link really takes something away. Nothing (too) wrong with having Michelle Obama present it, but she should’ve been there in the room instead.

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And the Oscars 2013 Winners are ...

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I'll comment on the show and how Griz and I did on our ballots at a later time. For now, I just want to put up the results:

PICTURE
Argo

DIRECTOR
Ang Lee, Life of Pi

ACTOR
Daniel Day Lewis, Lincoln

ACTRESS
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Christoph Waltz, Django unchained

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Django Unchained

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Argo

EDITING
Argo

CINEMATOGRAPHY
Life of Pi

ART DIRECTION / PRODUCTION DESIGN
Lincoln

COSTUMES
Anna Karenina

SOUND MIXING
Les Misérables

SOUND EDITING
Zero Dark Thirty
Skyfall

FOREIGN FILM FEATURE
Amour

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Searching for Sugar Man

ANIMATED FEATURE
Brave

VISUAL EFFECTS
Life of Pi

MAKE UP and HAIRSTYLING
Les Misérables

SCORE
Life of Pi

SONG
Skyfall

TALLY:
Life of Pi: 4 Director, Cinematography, Visual Effects, Score
Argo: 3 Picture, Adapted Screenplay, Editing
Les Misérables: 3 S. Actress, Sound mixing, Make up & Hair
Lincoln: 2 Actor, Art Direction
Django: 2 O. Screenplay, S. Actor
Skyfall: 2 Song, Sound Editing
Silver Linings Playbook: 1 Actress
Amour: 1 Foreign film
Zero Dark Thirty: 1 Sound editing
Brave: 1 Animated
Anna Karenina: 1 Costumes
Beasts: 0

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Oscars 2013 Winners Predictions!

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Arkin and Affleck
Oscars telecast is tomorrow, and as per tradition, it's time for me and my dear friend / contributor, Griz, to make our predictions. To help you make your own predix, dear precious invisible readers, here are the list of things to consider:

1. The Argo dilemma: This wouldn't have been such a tough Oscars prediction year if Argo didn't sweep the precursors and Ben Affleck got his directing nomination. Then we would have been looking at an easy Lincoln year. Instead, we have mad scramble for gold. If the Oscars follows the precursors and awards Best Picture to Argo, the film will have to pull these two other wins: Screenplay (over Lincoln / Silver Linings Playbook), and Editing (a consistent win for Best Picture winners in the past, over Zero Dark Thirty). That would give it 3 wins total, one of the lowest counts for a Best Picture winner in the history of Oscars (Crash was the last one to have only 3). It might win two other categories - Supporting Actor for Arkin, and Sound Editing - but the odds in those categories are not in its favour. For one, Supporting Actor has two other popular choices in Tommy Lee Jones and Christoph Waltz, and Arkin is the least deserving of the win (the nom was undeserving as well, but such is life). Sound Editing could go to Argo, but that would mean Zero Dark Thirty going home empty handed (which it might just, but what a shame it would be for a critically acclaimed Best Picture nominee to go home a complete loser). The other scenario? Oscars ignores precursors and goes with the obvious choice, considering the sheer number of nominations in all important categories: Lincoln. In that case, Argo's tally would range from nothing (Screenplay to Lincoln, Editing to Zero Dark Thirty) to just one win (Editing is its best bet of the two).

2. Lincoln's leading total number of nominations: It's a good bet that when a picture has the most number of nominations in most important categories, it's taking home the Best Picture prize. If the Academy adheres to this rule, then it would be one of the most upsetting AND safe Oscars picks ever, considering the way Argo has swept all important precursors.

3. Best Director: This is a wide open field. Let's break it down:
- Spielberg: for him - Lincoln's consolation big prize if Argo wins, and he's the director of the most nominated film. Against him - he's won before, and a boring choice. Still, he's got the best odds of winning the category.
- Lee: for him - Pi is actually the most showy in terms of direction, and for some reason, it looks to be well liked. Against him - not certain just how well loved Pi is, and Pi has no acting nomination.
- O. Russell: for him - Playbook is a crowd pleaser, backed by Weinstein (WEINSTEIN FACTOR!), and he got all his actors nominated for the film. Against him - it's a blandly directed film, and there are showier directing in the mix.
- Zeitlin: for him - freshness. Against him - nomination was his win, since the film is so small and too indie for him to win such a major prize.
- Haneke: for him - an avant garde director in the mix! Against him - an avant garde director in the mix!

4. Acting: Daniel Day Lewis, Jennifer Lawrence and Anne Hathaway are sure wins. People talk about the possibility of Riva taking the Actress win, but I'd say that's nothing more than wishful thinking. It's J. Law or no law. S. Actor is the only iffy category - Waltz should have this, since he won SAG, but Lincoln's love will probably lift Tommy Lee Jones above the pack.

5. Brave vs. Wreck-it Ralph: Annie gave the edge to Ralph, but having seen neither, I am a little on the fence about Brave - a Pixar film that looks to be quite traditional - losing the Oscars to Ralph. I'm going with Annie though, for I only play inside the circle of witchcraft.

6. Life of Pi surprise: Yes, Argo and Lincoln are the 1-2 punch contenders, but I wouldn't be surprised if when it's all said and done, Pi walks away with the most wins, just for its technical side prowess.

7. Django: For all Weinstein magic, there's a very real possibility that it's going home empty handed!

8. Weinstein factor: I have no idea how this is going to play out. Since the Master is pretty much dead on arrival, and Django unlikely to do much damage, that leaves Playbook the most hopeful Weinstein contender. What other party favours can he do for the little film? It won People's choice at TIFF, but will it come home with only one Actress win? Or can it pull other acting, directing, and writing wins?

With all that said, we've made our predictions (mine first, followed by Griz's). I've decided on the scenario that Argo is winning, and adjusted my other categories accordingly.

PICTURE
Argo
Alt. Lincoln

DIRECTOR
Steven Spielberg
Alt. Ang Lee

ACTOR
Daniel Day Lewis
Alt. Bradley Cooper

ACTRESS
Jennifer Lawrence
Alt. Emmanuelle Riva

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Tommy Lee Jones
Alt. Christoph Waltz

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Anne Hathaway
Alt. Sally Field

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Amour
Alt. Zero Dark Thirty

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Argo
Alt. Silver Linings Playbook

EDITING
Argo
Alt. Zero Dark Thirty

CINEMATOGRAPHY
Life of Pi
Alt. Skyfall

ART DIRECTION / PRODUCTION DESIGN
Life of Pi
Alt. Anna Karenina

COSTUMES
Anna Karenina
Alt. Les Misérables

SOUND MIXING
Les Misérables
Alt. Argo

SOUND EDITING
Zero Dark Thirty
Alt. Argo

FOREIGN FILM FEATURE
Amour
Alt. Rebelle (War Witch)

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Searching for Sugar Man
Alt. The Gatekeepers

ANIMATED FEATURE
Wreck-It Ralph
Alt. Brave

VISUAL EFFECTS
Life of Pi
Alt. The hobbit

MAKE UP and HAIRSTYLING
Les Misérables
Alt. The hobbit

SCORE
Life of Pi
Alt. Lincoln

SONG
Skyfall
Alt. Les Misérables

Griz's Predix:
BEST PICTURE: Argo
Alternate: Lincoln

BEST DIRECTOR: Steven Spielberg - Lincoln
Alternate: Ang Lee - Life of Pi

BEST ACTOR: Daniel Day-Lewis - Lincoln
Alternate: Joaquin Phoenix - The Master

BEST ACTRESS: Jennifer Lawrence - Silver Linings Playbook
Alternate: Jessica Chastain - Zero Dark Thirty

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Tommy Lee Jones - Lincoln
Alternate: Robert De Niro - Silver Linings Playbook

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Anne Hathaway - Les Misérables
Alternate: Sally Field - Lincoln

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Amour
Alternate: Django Unchained

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Argo
Alternate: Silver Linings Playbook

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Life of Pi
Alternate: Anna Karenina

BEST FILM EDITING: Argo
Alternate: Lincoln

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN: Les Misérables
Alternate: Anna Karenina

BEST COSTUME DESIGN: Anna Karenina
Alternate: Mirror Mirror

BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING: The Hobbit
Alternate: Les Misérables

BEST SOUND EDITING: Life of Pi
Alternate: Skyfall

BEST SOUND MIXING: Les Misérables
Alternate: Skyfall

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: Life of Pi
Alternate: The Hobbit

BEST ORIGINAL SONG: “Skyfall” - Skyfall
Alternate: “Pi’s Lullaby” - Life of Pi

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: Life of Pi
Alternate: Argo

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM: Wreck-It Ralph
Alternate: Brave

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: Amour
Alternate: War Witch

BEST DOCUMENTARY: Searching for Sugar Man
Alternate: How To Survive A Plague

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Cinemaps' 2012 Year in Review

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'TIS WAS THE YEAR OF ...
J. Law in Hunger Games & Silver Linings Playbook
The rise and rise of J. Law: Ms. Spunkness is at the forefront of new Hollywood, and she's on fire. On one occasion, literally.

Hollywood endings: Argo. Silver Linings Playbook. The Avengers. Beasts of the Southern Wild. Even Zero Dark Thirty. Not that I want to spoil these movies, but, well, I just did, didn't I. Hm. <-- SPOILERSS!

Law of diminishing returns: Hobbit < LOTR. Bourne Legacy < every other Bourne. Prometheus < Alien / Aliens. The Dark Knight Rises < That one with Heath Ledger. Brave < previous Pixar films (a wild guess!). Seven Psychopaths < In Bruges. And MIB3 exists only to remind us Will Smith has a deal with the devil in exchange for eternal youth.

Worst added special effect: Joseph Gordon Levitt's prosthetic nose to look like Bruce Willis. It's like having exposed nipples on your face. Who can pay attention to anything else?

CINEMAPS' BEST OF
It was really hard to fill out 10 slots for best picture, actually. So. Much. Mediocrity. That's why I'm just gonna do 5. Because, honestly, that's all I can really stand behind? This is my preferential ballot!
Top 5
01. Tabu (Gomes, 2012) ****1/2
'Tis the most magical film of the year. I love it with all my black and white heart.
02. Holy Motors (Carax, 2012) ****1/2
What outrageous, daring fun. It even has a musical number! In the middle of a meta-film about the life of cinematic performances and the tragic immortality thereof!
03. Amour (Haneke, 2012) ****
A very stoic, confident European film to accompany its softer sister-from-a-different-mother Canadian film on love and letting go at the end of life, Sarah Polley's Away from her.
04. Zero Dark Thirty (Bigelow, 2012) ****
That quiet, powerful ending proves Bigelow is one mother***** playing in the big league, to semi-quote the cheesiest line from the film that announced the arrival of Jessica Chastain.
05. The Master (Anderson, 2012) ****
Beautiful and manic take on the cult of saviour, with power-full performances from all three leads.
Tabu
Grin & Pulse
The most fun I had watching a movie this past year
Tabu
The Avengers
Life of Pi
Hodejegerne (Headhunters)
The cabin in the woods

Director
Miguel Gomes, Tabu
Leos Carax, Holy Motors
Michael Haneke, Amour
Kathryn Bigelow, Zero Dark Thirty
P. T. Anderson, The Master
Denis Lavant in Holy Motors
Performances
Denis Lavant, Holy Motors
Daniel Day Lewis, Lincoln
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Jean-Louis Trintignant, Amour

Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Matthew McConaughey, Magic Mike
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Aksel Hennie, Hodejegerne (Headhunters)
Mark Ruffalo, The Avengers

Writing
Holy Motors
Amour
The Master
Bernie
Django Unchained

Editing
Tabu
Holy Motors
Zero Dark Thirty
The Master
Hodejegerne (Headhunters)

Cinematography
Tabu
The Master
Life of Pi
Holy Motors
Moonrise Kingdom
Moonrise Kingdom
Art Direction
Moonrise Kingdom
Life of Pi
Prometheus
Django Unchained
The Hobbit
Richard Parker, Life of Pi
Effects
Life of Pi
The hobbit
Prometheus
The cabin in the Woods
The Avengers

Sound
Tabu
Zero Dark Thirty
The hobbit
Beasts of the Southern Wild
The raid: redemption

Score
The hobbit
The Dark Knight Rises
Moonrise Kingdom
Looper
Django Unchained

Uncharted (yet to be seen)
Barbara
Cosmopolis
Queen of Versailles
Brave
Wreck-it Ralph
Les Misérables
Cloud Atlas
Anna Karenina

Charted
****1/2
Tabu (Gomes, 2012)
Holy Motors (Carax, 2012)

****
Amour (Haneke, 2012)
Zero Dark Thirty (Bigelow, 2012)
The Master (Anderson, 2012)

***1/2
Hodejegerne (Headhunters; Tyldum, 2012)
Bernie (Linklater, 2012)
Django Unchained (Tarantino, 2012)
Life of Pi (Lee, 2012)
Argo (Affleck, 2012)
The hobbit: an Unexpected Journey (Jackson, 2012)
Skyfall (Mendes, 2012)
Beasts of the Southern Wild (Zeitlin, 2012)
Marvel's The Avengers (Whedon, 2012)
Moonrise Kingdom (Anderson, 2012)
Serbuan maut (The raid: redemption; Evans, 2012)
Prometheus (Scott, 2012)

***
Lincoln (Spielberg, 2012)
Silver Linings Playbook (Russell, 2012)
The Cabin in the Woods (Goddard, 2012)
Seven Psychopaths (McDonagh, 2012)
Looper (Johnson, 2012)
Batman: The dark knight rises (Nolan, 2012)
The place beyond the pines (Cianfrance, 2012)

**1/2
The Bourne Legacy (Gilroy, 2012)
Magic Mike (Soderberg, 2012)
Men in Black 3 (Sonnenfeld,2012)

**
Total recall (Wiseman, 2012)
The hunger games (Ross, 2012)

*
The dictator (Charles, 2012)

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